Ask and tell
by vivid-heart
Summary: "Because you are supposed to fight to make it work". Tiva, complete.
1. Chapter 1

Tony's apartment couldn't be more quiet. TV was off, not even a sound of a radio, just a silent raining on the outside.

He lied in the bed with Ziva. She was resting in his arm completely naked and breathing calmly. Tony drew circles on her back and they both stared at the ceiling.

"This cannot go on," she said quietly and took a deep breath.

Tony gazed her quickly, "What are you talking about?"

"Us," she said and raised to rest on her elbow, "We cannot keep doing this."

"And why is that?" he raised to his elbow and brushed a little stress of hair from her face. She took a grip out of his wrist and stopped his actions, "Tony..."

"What?" he lowered his hand and looked her in the eyes, "What's wrong?"

"This is wrong," Ziva inhaled and sat up, "What are we even doing?"

Tony sat up too and moved her between his legs. He pulled her close and kissed her back, "This" he whispered and kissed her neck, "And this" he breath out and nipped her earlobe.

Ziva shivered and pulled away, "Stop."

Tony's small smile faded to doubt, "What's wrong?"

Ziva turned around to face him, "We have to come clean."

"Why? Isn't this enough?" he asked and smiled, "Because this is really enjoyable."

Ziva watched him leaning towards her and felt his lips on hers. She let him linger on her for a while, before she pulled away, "Tony, please."

He finally gave up and lied down, "Talk to me."

Ziva looked at his eyes. He waited so innocently for an answer or a problem that he could solve or fix.

"We cannot keep hiding," she said quietly.

He looked at her and took her hand. He pulled her next to him and held as close as possible, "We are not hiding. We are under a protection."

"What?" Ziva frowned.

"From Gibbs and his coffee filled rage," Tony said and shivered, "He will kill us."

"This is not funny," Ziva sighed for his childish behavior.

"No, totally not. I wanna live a little bit older," Tony said and smiled.

Ziva punched him slightly, "Idiot."

Tony smirked and kissed her. He pulled her closer and ran his fingers on her back. He breathed in her scent and it drove him wild. He rolled on top of her and buried his face on her neck.

Ziva let out a little laugh out of the tickles of his gentle kisses.

Tony lifted his body for a little while, just to smile at her, "We don't need to hide, but I still strongly suggest it, since you know, Gibbs can get a little angry."

Ziva shrugged and stretched her neck to capture his lips.

He lowered himself down and made his way on her flushed body. Tony dropped kisses on the curve of her breasts and on her belly.

"You are enjoying this too, so let's just enjoy this before jumping into an early grave because of Gibbs," Tony mumbled and threw the blanket over them. It covered her sharp inhales and his groans of pleasure.

* * *

><p>Ziva sat on the kitchen counter and watched the rain falling to the ground. The sound it made was soothing but it turn the world a little bit sadder. She sighed and thought about her whole situation.<p>

All these nights with Tony, all the days she had to control herself and shed all those lies. The days were particularly hard, because who knew it would be so hard to keep the normal eye contact content? Who knew that a slight touch could give the butterflies on your stomach a permission to spread their wings and fly? Who knew that the urge to touch one another sometimes grew so high, they had to leave the scene? This wasn't ever like this before - the tension had never been this high.

Every time she looked at him, she could almost feel his touch on her skin. How could it be possible? Well, it just was.

And all the lies.

She couldn't keep a count of them anymore. She lied to Gibbs, Abby, McGee and all the rest of the team and maybe even to herself. She tried to cover up her affair with Tony. No one would understand them and what they had.

She dropped her gaze to the floor and wiped her face. She was in so much trouble if she would get caught. But when she looked at the man who walked to the kitchen, moved between her legs and wrapped his arms around her – she didn't care, because there still was a chance that this all would be worth it.

"You're up early," Tony noticed and kissed her neck.

"Could not sleep," she said and pushed him away, "We need to talk."

Tony frowned, but didn't start to resist her, because in the end she would win, "Fine, talk."

Ziva jumped off the counter and sat on to the kitchen chair, "We need to tell Gibbs, before he figures this out himself. We need to tell him."

Tony leaned against the counter, wiped his face and sighed, "He will be so pissed off."

"I know, but I am so tired of lying," Ziva said and stood up. She walked to him and sighed, "He needs to know," she said and smiled quickly.

"That smile tells me that I'm going to be the one who tells him, right?" Tony sighed with a painful expression on his face.

"It is a man's job," Ziva smiled with a relief. Gibbs was going to know soon and he would get use to this all. It would take some time, but it would happen eventually.

Tony frowned, pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly.

"I should do it as soon as possible. Thank Jesus it's a free day and that I know where to find our fearless leader," he said and searched his car keys, while making his way to the door.

"Um, Tony?" Ziva tried to hold a laugh.

"What?" he turned to her.

"Are you going to walk out the door looking like that?" she let out a giggle.

Tony looked down on himself and found out that boxers might not be the right outfit. He smirked and ran to the bedroom.

Ziva sat back down on the kitchen chair and watched Tony ran from a one direction to another, trying desperately to find his jacket and car keys. _This man is lost in his own home_, Ziva thought to herself and smiled.

"Okay, I'll go now to meet the wrath of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. See you later," he smiled quickly and opened the door..

"Tony! Wait!" Ziva said and stood up. Tony stopped before he stepped into the cold air outside.

"Good luck," she said with a hint of a worry in her voice.

"I need more than luck, I need a miracle," Tony said and smirked.

Ziva narrowed her eyes and flashed a teasing smile, "Once you come home, we can arrange that," she said lightly. She could almost feel his excitement jumping few levels upper and she could see the spark in his eyes, that always lit up, when her words found that teasing sound.

Tony thought for a while and his smile widened when he imagined them two together, "I'll be back in no time!" he said and rushed away.

His eager words made her laugh a little, but once he was gone, the silence fell everywhere and the smile on her face faded to doubt. Ziva had a bad feeling about this all – a really bad feeling.

* * *

><p><strong>first chapter of this fic of mine. i already apologize, that it doesn't have a huge solid idea behind it, this is purely a spread of my own emotions.<strong>  
><strong>but i don't owns ncis, which is sad, but i hope you even tried to enjoy ~<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Tony opened Gibbs' front door and stepped in. His breath caught up to his throat because he was so nervous. No one could ever know, what Gibbs would do, but Tony was sure that this time it would be something between of hitting him with a wood plane or a gun. Neither of those choices were particularly nice.

Tony walked down the basement steps, "Boss," he said silently and smiled quickly.

Gibbs lifted his gaze from a little wooden chair he was working on, "What?"

"Well, um... We need to talk," Tony started and sat across the table.

"I know," Gibbs said quietly.

"You do?" Tony frowned. Gibbs sighed and lowered his gaze back to the little wooden chair.

"Oh yeah, um... Well the thing is that... It's a little... Well, the thing is that um," Tony stuttered nervously.

"Spit it out, DiNozzo. We haven't got all day," Gibbs hurried him.

"Yeah, okay. Well, the thing is right now that I found this girl," Tony cleared his throat and gazed at his boss quickly, "And I really like her. I really do. And I want something different with her and I kinda need you to be okay with it. I mean, to be okay with the fact that the girl is -"

"Ziva," Gibbs interrupted Tony with his knowledge.

"How did you...?"

"I just do," Gibbs lifted his gaze and looked at the nervous wreck of a man in front of him, "Why did you came here?"

"Well, we kinda need your...," Tony cleared his throat nervously, "Approval?" he chose a word that was even close to the word he was looking for, but couldn't find.

"No," Gibbs said quickly without a second of hesitation.

"You didn't even -"

"I don't need to," Gibbs said quickly again and Tony lost his words.

"It won't last," Gibbs cleared out the facts in his own mind, "You know it, I know it and she knows it."

"No, boss, listen to me," Tony tried, but in vein, there was no way to change Gibbs' mind on this subject.

"Rule number twelve, DiNozzo. You're breaking it, again. I suggest that you two break it off while you still can do it in a civil way," Gibbs said calmly and looked at the his senior field agent.

"No," Tony took the same path as his boss – the hard and serious way.

"What?" Gibbs was slightly surprised about his resistance.

"No, I won't break it off, just because you think it's not gonna work. No way, I'm not breaking it off," Tony resisted and stood up, "You know, I thought you could even once in your get over yourself and just be happy for me and for Ziva, because we are the closest thing you have to a family. And just because I want to be with her, doesn't mean that I would abandon something that is like a family to me too."

Gibbs watched Tony walk away with a disapproving look on his face, "A family," Gibbs repeated his words after Tony was gone, "They stuck by each other," he added and turned his shivering attention to the wooden chair, which little leg snapped into two pieces.

* * *

><p>Tony opened the door to his apartment. He let out a deep sigh and leaned against the door frame. He should have seen this coming and he shouldn't have ever hope for Gibbs to be okay with any of this.<p>

Ziva noticed his arrival and walked to him, "How did it go?"

He shook his head, "Not good at all."

"What happened?" Ziva asked and placed her hands on his shoulders. She looked into his eyes and saw the disappointment in them – the feeling when hopes come crashing down.

"He um... He's never gonna be okay this," Tony said and sighed. He saw in her eyes that she already guessed this. She already knew, that Gibbs would have more than trouble accepting something that would be against his rules.

"We both know that," Ziva said quietly and smiled quickly, "We just have to win him around."

"Over, Ziva. It's 'win over', not around," Tony corrected her English.

"Same difference," she frowned and leaned against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"What are we going to do?" he asked and kissed her hair, while wrapping his arms around her.

"Well, I will go talk to him next," Ziva suggested and lifted her gaze to his eyes, "And if that does not work, we just have to continue without his permission, yes?"

"Yes," he smiled and pressed his lips on hers, knowing that being with her would be worth of the rage of Gibbs.

* * *

><p><strong>ooh, poor tony and ziva too. this is quite short. i think the up-coming chapters are a little bit longer.<strong>  
><strong>don't own ncis and hope you even tried to enjoy ~<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

It was Ziva's turn to open the door to Gibbs' apartment. She walked quietly in, "Gibbs?" she asked carefully.

"In here," a voice came from the kitchen.

"Hello," Ziva walked into the kitchen and greeted her boss, who sat silently and ate his dinner.

"Your boyfriend already gave me a visit," he said quickly with a hint of sarcasm on his voice.

"Gibbs," Ziva started with a voice that made perfectly clear, that it's not right to make fun of her choices.

"Are you going to give me a speech about your forever lasting love? Because if you are, you already know, that it won't change a thing," Gibbs declared calmly and stopped eating.

"I do know that," Ziva said, "But I did not came her for that. I came here to ask you for a chance."

"A chance for what?" Gibbs asked, even though he already knew the answer. He looked at the serious woman staring at him. He felt how strongly she wanted to make a point.

"I need you to give me and Tony a chance to make this work, without doubting and making fun of it constantly," Ziva asked, "That is all I ask."

Gibbs looked at her dark eyes and stood up. He narrowed his eyes and frowned in disbelief, "Who are you kidding, Ziva?"

"Excuse me?" she didn't understand what was his question's point.

"What are you doing with him?" Gibbs asked quietly.

Ziva narrowed her eyes, "Why are you asking that?"

"You know DiNozzo. You and him have worked together for years. You know what kinda man he is."

"I do know what kind of a man he is. But that is all changed now," Ziva said.

"How?" Gibbs asked, because he couldn't believe that the bond between his two agent had changed, "How are you two changed?"

"I have seen him changing in these past few months," Ziva corrected him.

"Months?" Gibbs asked, because he was genuinely surprised that his agents could make a commitment that long.

"Yes," Ziva confirmed, "And I can reassure you, that we both want to make it work. And all we ask from you is a chance."

"No," he said it as quickly as he had said it to Tony.

Ziva lowered her voice, "Gibbs... I am asking you to -"

"No," he kept his decision.

Ziva noticed, that it was impossible to change his mind to accept something he didn't want to accept, "Fine, but you cannot except us to be on the same side with you."

"I know that you know, Ziva," Gibbs started, "You know it won't last."

"But we are going to try to make it last," Ziva assured, "No one ever said, that it would be easy, but we are going to fight for it."

"Good luck with that," Gibbs said and sat back down. He continued eating, like she wasn't there anymore.

Ziva noticed his ignorance towards her and thought, that it would be the best thing to leave.

"Gibbs" she turned around before she walked away from the kitchen and through the door, "I do not know what happened to you or what made you create the rule number twelve, but if it had something to do with Jenny... Did you ever tried to fight over her?" she asked, but didn't get an answer.

"Because you are supposed to fight to make it work," she said and walked out the door.

Gibbs had stopped eating after hearing the name of the former director of NCIS. The name brought back all the memories of the long nights and even longer betrayals.

He sighed deeply and lost his appetite.

* * *

><p>Tony sat nervously on his couch and kept gazing the clock on the wall. Ziva left about an hour ago. How long a talk with Gibbs, a man who barely spoke, could last?<p>

Finally the door opened up slowly and she walked in. Tony jumped up and was more than eager to hear, had she succeeded to change Gibbs' mind.

"Well?" he asked as Ziva walked to him.

"I am sorry," she shook his head and looked deeply into his eyes, "I did not succeed."

"Oh," disappointment shined from his face, "That was expected."

Ziva wrapped her arms around him and silently gathered her courage.

Tony pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her, "Well, we are just going to have to deal without his approval."

"Tony," she pulled away from his embrace.

"I mean, that was something we both agreed on and I think that it's a good plan, and we're -"

"Tony," Ziva finally managed to catch his attention.

"Yeah?" Tony smiled and kissed her quickly. The cold response of her pulling away made him confused, "What's wrong?"

"I am not sure about this anymore," Ziva started, "I mean Gibbs could be wrong about us, but he could also be right."

Tony shook his head, "What do you mean by that?"

"I think that he might have a point," Ziva explained.

"No, Ziva...," he knew, where she was heading with this. He knew, that when she doubted them even a little, it could break everything and he didn't want that at all. He wanted to make everything work and show Gibbs, that they could make it without his approval.

"Tony, come on. I know, you know it too," Ziva smiled sadly, "You really thought we could make this work? We are so different, we have barely anything in common. You are... You are like a movie and I am like a book. Two completely different things, Tony."

"Some movies are made from books, Ziva, and they turned out pretty good," he said and took a grip out of her hands.

"Some of them did not," Ziva said and shook her head, "I do not know what to do anymore."

"You told me, that you wanna try," Tony stood back up and squeezed her hands.

"I do, but be honest with me," Ziva took a deep breath and looked deep into his eyes, "You really want to lose someone like Gibbs from your side, just because this _might_ work?" she asked and felt him loosing his grip and letting her hands fell to her sides.

Tony's expression faded to hesitation and the fear of losing her. All this time he had spent with Ziva felt right and good and he thought she felt the same too, but was it all just an act? A part of Tony felt used, but that part was conquered by the feelings that she made him feel. Tony wasn't sure what those feelings were, so he couldn't call any of them love, because he didn't know how an ex-assassin could love and how she'd show it – at least to someone like himself. After all what they had been through together, the love that they were looking from each other seemed more than difficult to find.

"Ziva...," he started, but stopped as she pulled away.

"This is not going to work, Tony," she smiled sadly, "We both know it. And it is better to end this, before this goes too far."

"What the hell Gibbs said to you?" Tony narrowed his eyes and raised his voice slightly, "How did he got your mind changed so fast?"

Ziva shook her head, "He did not say anything, that would -"

"Ziva!" he stopped her, "You said to me that even if he wouldn't approve us, we would still give this a shot!"

"Tony, please," she said quietly, "Do not make this harder than it already is."

Tony narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice, "How hard is it?"

Ziva dropped her gaze to the floor and sighed. When she lifted her eyes back to his, she just smiled sadly without saying a word, because she couldn't find the right ones, but he could read then all from her eyes. Tony felt his stomach twisting into knots and his mouth turning dry, "Ziva...," was the only word he could form.

He would've wanted to say so much more, but how could he? She made up her mind by giving up the hope. She stopped believing in the chance, she was earlier asking from Gibbs. There was no use to ask for her to believe in something she wasn't sure off. Tony wanted a real chance, he didn't want fake feelings or lies.

"I am sorry," she said silently, "I really am."

Ziva couldn't believe her own words and the fact, that she was walking away from all this. She was about to throw everything they had away, because of her sudden decision. But she didn't feel right about anything anymore. She wasn't sure and she wasn't ready any longer. Gibbs made her think about this all, that was true, but he wasn't the one to blame of how she was feeling. Ziva had realized how different she and Tony was and it made her concerned about the future. She didn't want to waste her life on something that had so many more questions than answers in it.

Silence covered Tony's living room. They could almost touch all the quiet doubts and broken dreams in between them.

"So what are going to do now?" he finally asked.

Ziva thought for a while before she answered, "We are going to go to work and act like nothing ever happened."

"How are we going to do that?" Tony asked, because at least to him, acting like nothing ever happened was impossible. He knew what happened between them. He could feel it – every touch and every kiss. He could hear it – every promise and every beautiful word. He could see it – every little smile and every longing look.

"We just do our work and that is it," she said calmly and shrugged, "How hard could that be?"

"Very hard - at least to me," Tony said quickly.

Ziva sensed the coldness in his voice, "Tony, please..."

"You don't have to say anything, Ziva," he said and wiped his face. His attention to her was shivering and all he wanted now, was to be alone with his thoughts.

"I think I should go," she suggested and walked to the front door as he dropped on to the couch.

She turned around after opening the door, "Goodbye, Tony, even thought I will see you tomorrow at work."

He didn't reply and she didn't expect him to. She flashed a quick, sad smiled and left.

Tony kept his gaze on the door, just in case she would run back and jump into his arms and tell him that she didn't mean anything she said.

But she didn't come back.

* * *

><p><strong>so, this was sad. poor tiva. and this freaking headache is killing me.<strong>  
><strong>don't own ncis and hope you tried to enjoy ~<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Next morning at work wasn't like any of the mornings before. This was quiet, awkward and tensioned with the urge to run away.

Ziva sat behind her desk and tried to focus on her work, but it was impossible when Tony was looking at her. How could she possibly focus when he was staring right through her?

Tony watched her every little move – her fingers tapping the keyboard, her eyes gazing at her papers and the computer screen. He noticed her heavy breathing and her nervous being.

Once Ziva was done losing her focus and him staring at her, she turned to him, "Could you stop?"

"No," he answered quickly.

Ziva rolled her eyes back to the computer screen, "Why?"

"Because I can't believe that this is really going on," he said and cleared his throat, "I can't believe that we are done. Just like that."

"Get over it," Ziva said quickly. She was cold intentionally, because it was easier for her. Showing him the cold, ignorant side could push him as far away from her as she needed him to be. When he would leave her alone for a little while, she could push the feelings that his gaze created far away and focus on something else.

He was surprised of her ignorance, "That easy?"

"That easy, DiNozzo," she said and kept her shivering attention on the computer screen.

"Not to me," he said and stood up. He walked to her desk and locked his eyes on hers, "Not to me," he repeated, just to make sure that she would really understand.

Ziva looked at him intensely and felt a knot forming in her stomach. She never seem to forget just how powerful his gaze could be. His eyes staring right through her, searching for a hesitation, searching for a slightest doubt took over her ability to focus on anything else but his eyes.

"Come on," he said quietly and leaned closer to her.

She watched his approach. He was so close, that she wanted to sink her lips into his and make the moment even more memorable. His eyes screamed the will to take her into his embrace, but even though they were so close, they were so far apart.

"Come on," he said again and moved an inch closer. Their lips were about to touch and the distance between them was closing up.

"What do you want?" Ziva asked as she gazed quickly at his lips and eyes.

"You know what I want," he said under his breath and cupped her right cheek.

Right there, in the middle of the squadroom, he moved as close as he could to her and -

"Hey!" Gibbs walked in and smacked Tony in the back of his head. Ziva pulled away and tried hard to catch her breath.

Tony rubbed his head and moved back to his desk. Ziva looked at her shivering hands and felt a knot in her stomach.

They both fell into silence, when Gibbs looked at them. It would take a lot to make this moment even more awkward when it already was.

Ziva was the first to break the silence, but instead of using words, she stood up and ran into the ladies room. Tony didn't hesitate for a second, when he ran after her, no matter how much Gibbs tried to yell him to come back.

* * *

><p><strong>this is just a... i don't know, but wait for the next chapter.<strong>  
><strong>ncis doesn't belong to me, and hope you tried to enjoy ~<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

The water dripped from Ziva's face as she tried to wash out the tensioned scene between her and Tony. She tried to wash out the urge to kiss him and to feel his touch on her. She tried to wash out the hesitation. She made a choice, how stupid would it be to change it back?

She heard to door opening up and Tony walking in. Ziva turned around to face him and saw him locking the door.

"Why did you run away?" he asked quietly and walked to her.

"Why did you follow me?" she asked and felt his body brushing against her briefly. Even a slight touch twisted her stomach and made her bit her lip.

"You looked upset," he said and resisted the urge to place his hands on her sides.

"Perhaps I was," she said and turned around to close the tap from running. She looked at herself in the mirror. She saw the lines of doubt on her face. She saw him looking up and down on her silhouette and it made her shiver down her spine.

"Ziva," he breathed out and moved closer, so that she could feel his chest on her back.

She inhaled sharply because of his actions. She wasn't sure what he was after, but the feeling inside of her was growing and growing and growing and if she would wait too long, it would take over her and drive her to edge of her passion.

"Please, do not do this to me," Ziva lowered her voice. She was begging for him to back away, but he didn't.

Tony lowered his head and placed a kiss to her neck and felt the blood rushing everywhere in his body and on hers too. He placed another kiss behind her ear and licked her sweet spot carefully, which made Ziva let out a quiet moan.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She felt how hard she was breathing so he turned her around to face him.

Ziva looked at his hungry eyes and his lips. Everything was ready for her, all she had to do was to give in.

Tony ran his hands on her back and lifted the hem of her shirt. He leaned closer and captured her lips. He was hungry for her and his appetite had no limits, once he tasted her in his mouth.

Ziva groaned and wrapped her arms around his neck. She molded herself against his body and noticed just how much he was wanting her.

Tony lifted her to the sink and pulled her closer as he pour his need of her into her mouth. His hands were wondering all over her body, lifting her shirt over her head and loosening up her pants. He threw her belt way and opened the zipper. He lowered her pants and ran his right hand down on her body, till it was stroking her over her panties.

Ziva moaned loudly and begged for more, while she was undoing his pants. When she placed a hand on his length, he inhaled quickly. There was no limits of how much he wanted her.

Just when Tony was moving her red laced panties aside, she pushed him away.

Tony backed up and frowned at her actions. What the hell was she doing?

Ziva dropped off from the sink and searched her shirt and belt. She was breathing heavily and if she wasn't feeling anything else, she was feeling utterly confused.

"What the hell?" Tony asked and threw his hands up in the air. If she was confused, so was he.

"I cannot – I just -" Ziva breathed out words.

"Ziva!" he said sharply and took a grip out of her arms.

She looked at his hands on her arm and then his eyes. There was nothing more in them but confusion. Just seconds ago, she was wanting him to come inside of her and now, she was pushing him as far away as she just could.

"Ziva," Tony said quietly and tightened his grip.

She hit him in the chest and slapped his arms. He backed off and looked at the woman in front of him and he had never seen her like this – her hair messed up, her face confused and her whole body shaking.

Ziva looked at Tony and took a deep breath, "Get out."

"Ziva...," he tried to come closer to her.

"No! Go away!" she screamed and surprised herself with her voice being so full of determination and will, "Go!"

Tony stared at her for a few seconds, before he slowly backed away to the door.

Ziva waited until he was gone and then fell onto the floor. She was exhaling loud, like she was about to drown and she was shaking like a little child who had just seen something scary. Tears were burning in the corner of her eyes but she kept them from streaming with her will power.

What the hell was this? Why did she do this?

She had just pushed away the man she had spent the last few months with. She had just pushed away the man who she had spent years with as a partner. She had just pulled away a man that she...

…That she what?

The word she was looking for get caught up in her throat and chocked her. What he was to her? Just a partner, lover, affair or a... relationship that she just had broken off yesterday?

Ziva stayed in the bathroom for fifteen minutes until Gibbs forced his way in. He broke the door and saw shaking Ziva sitting on the floor.

"Ziva, what are you doing?" he asked softly and sat down next to her.

"You got what you wanted, Gibbs. I broke it off, are you satisfied now?" she asked and sniffed.

"Are you crying?" Gibbs asked and made her shook her head, "No, I am not."

"Ziva...," Gibbs started and wrapped his right hand around her shoulders, "Listen, I don't know what was going on between you two and I didn't know that it was going on for months and I -"

"So you wanted us to break it off as soon as we could, yes? Not even considering the fact, that we might make each other happy, yes?" Ziva asked and stood up.

"You were supposed to be like a father to me, after my own abandoned me and after I realized how hard it actually was to forgive him. You were supposed to be on my side, Gibbs," Ziva said and took a deep breath, "And Tony looks up to you as a father figure too and you know it. How could you still do this to us?" she asked and shook her head, "How?"

Gibbs watched Ziva storming out from the bathroom. He still sat on the floor and wiped his face. A doubt flashed on his mind, what if he had done wrong when he didn't give them a chance?

* * *

><p><strong>this is why i rated this whole fic as "t". i seriously dislike the quick, sudden changes of the mind, but can't help it. and why she did this to tony, we'll figure out later.<strong>  
><strong>don't enjoy ncis and hope you even tried to enjoy ~<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

Tony sat on his couch after a long, long day at work. His emotions were all over the place and even a cold beer that usually calmed him down, didn't help this time. The old classic movie rolling on his TV screen didn't help either. It felt like nothing helped, because the only thing he could do was to roll inside of his complicated feelings and try to look for a way out.

A ringing phone on the coffee table distracted his thoughts. He picked it slowly up, but didn't bother to see who was calling.

"DiNozzo," he answered silently.

"We need to talk," a voice said in the other end of the line. Tony recognized the owner of the voice.

"Gibbs? What do you want?" he asked – anger covering his voice slightly.

"Drag yourself here," Gibbs ordered and hung up.

_'Great'_, Tony thought to himself, _'now I am going to die'_, But as much as he wanted to stay in home, he didn't have a will to resist his boss's orders, so he turned off the TV, left the beer on the coffee table and marched out the door.

* * *

><p>Tony walked through Gibbs' door, not bothering to knock. The last thing he wanted to do was to meet him and getting barked at something. He didn't need any blaming today, he had already messed up enough.<p>

"What?" Tony asked lazily when he saw Gibbs' sitting on his couch and sipping his beer.

"Sit down," he suggested and pointed at the spot next to him with his beer.

"Look, I'm really not in the mood for staying, so I rather stand here and -"

"Sit, DiNozzo," Gibbs said and raised the bar of determination in his voice. Tony sighed and sat down. He was too exhausted to resist.

"What have I done now?" he asked, "Did you already hear the good news? She already walked out last night," Tony said and wiped his face. He tried to push away the images of Ziva leaving, but it was impossible – some things just seem to be burned into your mind and there is no way to erase them.

"I did hear about that," Gibbs said calmly and tried to find the right words to say to his senior field agent, but it was harder than he thought it would be.

"So what more could you want? Do you need me to go agent afloat again? Maybe to the U.S.S Disappointment?" Tony asked with a hint of sarcasm in his tired voice. Why was he trying to make fun of all this? It wasn't funny at all. Everything was so messed up that finding the right path to get out of it all seemed more than impossible.

"Shut up and listen," Gibbs hissed and made Tony quiet.

"My rules are there for a reason, DiNozzo. And you know it," Gibbs started without fully knowing where this conversation was going to go, "They are there, because they work."

"I have heard this same lesson like every day since I came to NCIS. Don't you think I know this all already?" Tony asked and leaned against the back of the couch.

"Shut up," Gibbs hissed again, "I keep repeating my rules to you, because you always seem to forget half of them when it comes to the deal. You either pass them or ignore them. Lately you have broken few," Gibbs reminded, "But rule number twelve... I created it, once I realized how many times it applied. I've seen the damage a failed relationship can do. I've seen it on it's best and I've seen it on it's worst, DiNozzo."

"But I am not you, Gibbs," Tony reminded, "I fight."

"So you say now, but you know what happens eventually," Gibbs looked at Tony, "And you and Ziva aren't a exception. You two will end up the same way. And none of us want that."

Tony shook his head in disbelief, "You don't know that..."

"What would you two might have that would make this all work out?" Gibbs asked calmly.

"The will to fight over us," Tony said after a while of thinking.

"So what happened last night then?" Gibbs asked.

Tony stood up – he had had enough, "You know, I see where you are going with this. I see that you want me to admit that I made a mistake by being with her, but I will not admit it. No way. Ziva is... she might be so much more different than me and she might be a book and I might be a movie, but still... losing her is... I don't want that. I – we all – almost lost her once, and there is no chance in hell, that I would let it happen again," Tony inhaled in his anger, "So you can judge, you can freaking kill me, but I don't care. I will still break your rules and I will keep breaking them, until you realize that I'm not your kid that you can control me way that you want to."

Gibbs was ready to say something back to Tony, but he didn't allow him to.

"My father isn't much of a father to me and all he thought to me was how to bluff in poker and how to hit attractive girls, but then I got to work with you and you thought me more in few days than my own father has thought me in my whole life and I try to please you, to get your acceptance, but you know what?" Tony threw his hands up in the air as a sign of ignorance, "I'm done! You can boss McGeek all you want now, but don't come to boss me. I can work just fine without you. And you know what? I'm gonna get her back and there is nothing you can do about it!"

Gibbs stood up and stepped closer to Tony. He looked at his angry green eyes and saw the determination he wanted to see in them.

"You can come out now," Gibbs said and looked behind Tony.

Tony frowned and turned around and noticed that he was staring at Ziva's eyes.

"Hello," she said quietly with a shivering voice.

"Hi," Tony said surprised. He wasn't excepting to see her.

Gibbs placed a hand on Tony's shoulder, "Fight, or you will find yourself in some much more horrifying ship than U.S.S Disappointment."

Still his eyes locked on Ziva's, he asked Gibbs what would that ship be?

"U.S.S. Death by Torturing," Gibbs said and walked to his basement to give his agents some privacy.

"So, how long you've been there?" Tony asked and flashed a smile.

"Gibbs called me here. I arrived just before you," she smiled back.

"You heard everything I said?" Tony asked and bit his lip, "Crap."

"No," she said and came closer to him. She placed her hand on his cheek, "Not crap, just this...," she trailed off and raised up to her toes and kissed his lips.

Tony gasped out of this pleasant surprise and wrapped his arms around her. He deepened the kiss out of the need of her.

"I missed this," Tony said quietly after they parted.

Ziva pressed herself against him, "I can tell," she whispered into his ear.

"Don't flatter yourself, that is just my -" Tony stopped his sentence, "Well, yeah... My anatomy would be pretty messed up if that would be my knee."

Ziva laughed, "Yes!"

He laughed before he kissed her again.

They both walked down to stairs to the basement. They smiled at Gibbs and held hands.

"Oh jeez, now I gotta get use to this," the boss sighed.

"We try to keep it out of the office," Tony promised and looked at Ziva, "Right?"

"Yes," she smiled to him and then to Gibbs, "Thank you."

Gibbs nodded.

"Yeah, thanks boss," Tony said too and shook hands with him.

Ziva let go of Tony's and reached over to hug Gibbs, "Really, thank you, Jethro" she whispered into his ear and tightened the hug. Gibbs remained speechless and just hugged the woman who was clanging onto him.

Tony watched them and smiled, because he knew, that everything was now going to be okay.

After they parted smiling, Ziva walked back to Tony and kissed him to the cheek, "To your place, yes?" she asked.

"Yea, let's go," he turned around with her and headed upstairs.

"Hey!" Gibbs stopped them. Tony and Ziva gazed at him.

"You two are investigating cold cases for few weeks," he said lightly.

"What? Why?" Tony asked.

"Because you two are breaking the rules, sleeping with each other and we both you can't keep it out of the office," Gibbs knew.

Tony thought for a while before he answered, "Cold cases it is, boss."

Ziva laughed and agreed with Tony as they left their boss' apartment.

Gibbs sat onto the old chair and smiled to himself – maybe he had done something right.

* * *

><p><strong>omg, i'm so funny with the u.s.s disappointed and u.s.s death by torturing. aren't i funny? ... okay don't answer that. <strong>  
><strong>but this is the second last chapter, the last one is coming up soon. <strong>  
><strong>i would have wanted to keep torturing tiva, but as i said, this whole fic was a spread of emotions, so i'm not gonna start changing the whole concept, just because i want more pain.<strong>  
><strong>still don't own ncis and hope you tried to enjoy ~<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

"Why did you push me away in the bathroom? It though it was a very enjoyable moment for the both of us," Tony asked while holding Ziva in his arms. He could feel her small, naked body pressed tightly against him. Oh God, how he had missed it.

"I am sorry about that," Ziva said and drew circles on his arm.

"What was it about?" Tony asked and rolled her on top of him. He looked into her eyes and removed a stress of hair from her face.

"It felt like a... confusing moment," Ziva tried to explain, but how could she explain something that she didn't know a reason to? She didn't know why she pushed him away. She didn't have a slightest idea or an explanation to give to him.

"How? You seemed to enjoy it too," Tony said and rubbed her back.

"I did, but it is just that," Ziva took a deep breath, "We were supposed to be apart and..."

Tony let out a silent chuckle, "Like we could do that."

Ziva flashed a quick smile with a hint of hesitation in it, "Tony... Are you sure that we are going to work this out?"

"No," he said quickly and smiled to her frowning, "But we are going to try."

Ziva smiled, "Yes," she said and captured his lips.

And they both knew, that whether this was going to work out or not, it was still all worth it.

* * *

><p><strong> <strong>okay, i think this is the last chapter of this fic. thank ya all for reading it. and sorry that this is oh so small, but as i said, this was all just a spread of emotions.<strong>  
><strong>don't own ncis and hope you even tried to enjoy ~<strong> **


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